And I wonder as I lay here, in this sleepless field of dreams..

HELLO!

Somehow you've stumbled upon my blog, scraping the ends of the internet for something interesting.

Instead you found this.
I hope I don't put you to sleep.


Stories of fiction and fact lie dormant in this digital journal. Anything labelled with fiction junction is just that: fiction.

STORIES

» fiction junction. [all stories are sorted by this tag]
» refraction.
» love's weight.
» Viktor's Girls. [an ongoing collection]


do you think of me when I think of you

» Rachel Waa.
» xkcd.
» questionable content.
» the awesomer.
» not always right.
» stumble upon.
» Lore Olympus.

as the nighttime slowly sings...?

» chih.
» kaylyn.
» kitty.
» j comeau of A Softer World.


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“if only you could see”
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restoring "order"
May 25, 2011 || 6:08 PM || comment?

I think there is a rule within my own person environment, where if I find something, then something else will become lost. For the longest time I will know where something is, then whenever I finally find the other missing piece, I lose the original piece that was already found x_x;

Prime example: I have my tripod and the little dock I put my camera on to put into the tripod. Cool. Batteries, check. Camera is here too. But no charger. Can't find my charger. Whatever. I finally replaced my battery charger. GREAT! Now I go to look for my other things...found my tripod, cool. But I can't find the dock that I need to screw to my camera to use the tripod. UGH. Soooooo lame.

is this the place that i've been dreaming of?
|| 4:39 AM || comment?

It was lightly breezy. It was dark. There was the faint sound of a squeaky swing as someone willed it back and forth. She was under the tree. A two by four was her resting place. She occupied one end while he occupied the other. The distance between them was...what? It seemed unnoticeable by him. To her it was palpable. His face was flushed, and his breathing was heavy. She felt around in the dirt, running her fingers over several small rocks. One particularly round one reminded her of an egg. She held it in her palm, and brought it closer to her face. Its surface wasn't incredibly smooth, but it wasn't ragged either. She closed her hand around it. The small weight of it was soon forgotten. She dropped her hand to her side again and she felt the two by four shift beneath her. She glanced to the right and noticed he had gotten up and was walking away. He didn't look back at her, but she quickly got up and followed behind him. The breeze was playing at the hem of her dress now. She stared at her feet as she walked forward. They seemed to have a mind of their own as she watched them, one in front of the other, pulling her towards him, the mysterious workings of some magnetic force. Her attraction to him couldn't be easily explained. His carefree attitude. His simple smile. His playful demeanor. It made her forget her own worries, if only for a short time, when she was with him. She looked up for a moment. She could see his silhouette a few feet ahead of her, and still he wasn't looking back. She sighed. She brought her next foot forward, and there was a falter in her step. It took a moment to realize the ground was coming at her at a surprisingly fast rate. She had no time to think. Her face was in the dirt, and her hands and forehead were stinging. The tears came quickly, rolling off her face and mixing with the dirt. She exhaled and the dirt stirred for a moment. She wondered how long she would lay there. She tried moving the same foot, only to find it was stuck under a particularly gnarly root. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, then pulled on her leg to release her foot. She slowly stood, and brushed off her dress. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and looked ahead to where she last saw him. He was gone. Of course, he hadn't looked back, not even once. By this time, it shouldn't have surprised her, but it hurt her nonetheless. More tears welled in her eyes as she made her way back to her car, which was parked next to his. She stared at it for a moment before getting in, and driving away alone.

you're innocent; don't know how i am
May 19, 2011 || 10:48 PM || comment?

I'm not sure I've ever felt this confused before in my life.

I thought I had everything figured out and was totally sure I was fine.

Now I'm confused. It doesn't matter.

I won't let myself back into that situation. Instead I will enjoy myself.

I'm glad I'm meeting new people. It's nerve wrecking but also exciting.

I suppose these are trending again!
|| 1:32 PM || comment?

(Basically you wanna answer these "honestly" haha. Anyways....have fun reading and fill it out, too!)

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

Delicious coca-cola.

2.Where was your profile picture taken?

In my living room.

3.Can you play Guitar Hero?

Yep, but I prefer Rock Band.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?

No one yet because I woke up thirty minutes ago.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why?

5:30 am because I was at work.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Yeah. Austin.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

...I don't think so?

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?

Steven!

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yes, I am in the process of achieving this.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?

Too sweet.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?

A few days after I got drunk at a friend's.

12. Who took your profile picture?

Myself.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Myselffff.

14. Was yesterday better than today?

Not sure yet, today just began.

15. Can you live a day without TV?

Yeah, been doing it for approximately 3 years now.

16. Are you upset about anything?

Not RIGHT NOW but there are some things I am trying to work out internally.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

Of course.

18. Are you a bad influence?

Haha, doubtful.

19. Night out or night in?

Night out.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?

Clothes, my bike.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

My friend Erin.

22. What does the last text message in your in box say?

From Layla, :)))

23. How do you feel about your life right now?

It's great. I am being more spontaneous than I ever have before.

24. Do you hate anyone?

I strongly dislike a person, yes.

25. If we were to look in your face book inbox, what would we find?

Messages from my friends and my ex-boyfriend.

(Where's number 26??) Good question. Did it run into any slender figures lately?

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

Yes. But it doesn't matter now.

28. What song is stuck in your head?

Ellegarden - Sliding Door

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m.-

I would first check my phone to see if anyone messaged me they were coming. Then I'd look through the little viewing window. If I knew them, I'd let them in.

30. Wanna have grand kids before you’re 50?

I guess so?

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Work. Buy beer for a friend.

32. Do you think too much or too little?

Definitely too much.

33. Do you smile a lot?

I do.

Bonus Round...

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?

Collectively, three or four?

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be?

Probably a little child.

36. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook.

37. Chicken or Beef?

Chicken.

38. Mac or PC?

Doesn't really matter.

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?

Nope.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

Nope.

Astral.
May 18, 2011 || 7:21 PM || comment?

What time was it? He didn't know, but he couldn't be bothered to find out, either. The full moon was hanging in the sky above, and he was laying in the field below. He was staring intently at the moon's surface, at the obvious imperfections in its majestic surface. Despite this, the moon shined as bright and as beautifully as ever. He stole a glance to his side, and there she was, also looking up to the sky. Her usually sharp features were softened in the moonlight. His breath caught in his chest, so he had to look away. He set his sights on a particularly bright star, twinkling a constant bombardment of differing colors.

"You know.... sometimes I--," he started.

"I know. So do I," she interrupted.

He sighed. Looking back at the moon, he could tell a significant amount of time had passed without even realizing it. She sat up, and placed her hand next to his.

"Until next time?" She spoke, barely above a whisper. He looked at her, her features now a mere phantasm of what they were before. He closed his eyes and nodded. She leaned over him, and just as her lips were going to brush his own, the projection faded away. He felt a light breeze and imagined it had taken her away. And in his mind, he heard an echo:

And I wonder, as I lay here, in this senseless field of dreams, do you think of me, when I think of you, as the nighttime slowly sings?

Labels:


Quite the trend setter!
May 17, 2011 || 12:30 PM || comment?

You know....this seems oddly familiar...oh well! Here we go!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

NAME: Rachel Waldroup

Age: 21

BIRTHDATE: 12/01/1989

PRESENT ADDRESS: 411 Dulles dr. apt 4212!

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = black cherry vodka + coke!
2. last phone call = Work D:
3. last text message = Corey
4. last song you listened to = Uhhh.....something by Tool? Oh wait no, it was Five Finger Death Punch's version of Bad Company. I think.
5. last time you cried = Um...a couple of days ago...

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = Indeed.
7. been cheated on = Yes.
8. kissed someone & regretted it? = Yeeep.
9. lost someone special = Yeah..
10. been depressed = Not clinically.
11. been drunk and threw up = YEAH.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Green
13. Yellow
14. Black

LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend = Indeed!
16. Fallen out of love = No...
17. Laughed until you cried = Maybe once? I usually laugh until I run out of breath.
18. Met someone who changed you = In some way or another.
19. Found out who your true friends were = Like she said, I already knew!
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Perhaps?
21. Kiss anyone on your friends list = Yep!
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = All except one or two.
23. Do you have any pets = Trinity, my doggy who is in Lake Charles.
24. Do you want to change your name = Not really.
25. What did you do for your last birthday = Drank.
27. What time did you wake up today = Hehe...haven't gone to bed yet!
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Drinking margaritas?
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = To move into my new place!
30. Last time you saw your mother = Uhh....
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = The way I handle situations.
32. What are you listening to right now = Nothing!
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Maybe...
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = This sunburn right below my ass...
35. Last visited webpage = rosesinyourcheeks.blogspot.com
37. Nickname = Rachel WAA, Waazoo!
38. Relationship status = Single.
39. Zodiac Sign = Sagittarius.
40. He or She = We.
41. Elementary = Fun times.
42. High School = Even more fun times.
43. College = Currently nonexistent.
44. Hair color = Brown.
45. Long or short = Medium :O
46. Height = 5'4"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Hehee (:
48. What do you like about yourself? = My feet :D
49. Piercings = Ears.
50. Tattoos = Thinking about it!
51. Righty or Lefty = Right!

FIRSTS:
52. First surgery = Never!
53. First piercing = Ears.
54. First best friend = Mychelle Roget?
55. First sport you joined = Tennis.
56. First vacation = Pensacola is the first I remember.
57. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> = Damn arrows.
58. First pair of trainers = Trainers? Shoes? Uh...
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = Just ate pho.
60. Drinking = Nothing...just drank Vietnamese coffee.
61. I'm about to = go tanning!
62. Listening To = the sound of my fingers tapping the keys.
63. Waiting for = this to be over.

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? = One or two.
65. Get Married? = Yes.
66. Career? = Unknown.

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes = Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses = Hugs.
69. Shorter or Taller = Taller.
70. Older or Younger = Either way.
71. Romantic or Spontaneous = Spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Arms.
73. Sensitive or Loud = Calm.
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = Almost.
77. Drank hard liquor = Yes.
78. Lost Glasses/ Contacts = Nope.
79. Sex on first date = Nope.
80. Broken someones heart = Yes.
81. Had your heart broken = Yes.
82. Been arrested = Newp.
83. Turned someone down = Yes.
84. Cried when someone died = Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend = Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Occasionally.
87. Miracles = I'd like to.
88. Love at first sight = More like love after first conversation.
89. Heaven = Not really.
90. Santa Claus = Jolly St. Nick!
91. Kiss on the first date = Sure.
92. Angels = Victoria's Secret's angels.

Timeline for May 2011
May 15, 2011 || 2:55 PM || comment?

So I need to compile a list of things that will be happening starting today, until the rest of May. Lists help me feel "accomplished" but also I just need to make sure I get shit done by the end of this month.


May 15 - I have work from 4pm to 2am. Not much will be happening today.

May 16 - I'm off today. I should start packing. Also cleaning. Perhaps I'll start with clothes I am not going to need for the rest of the month, and books. Actually, I will do laundry, and as each load is totally finished, I'll pack it away. So let's concentrate on clothes only.

May 17 - Off again. Continue packing and cleaning. Finish up whatever clothes I have. Starting on books. I have a decent amount of books/magazines, so I need to find boxes that are big enough but also not too big so that when full they aren't heavy as fuck.

May 18 - Today is pay day. Continue working on books, until finished. Start on cleaning floor. Organizing my "things". Work tonight.

May 19 - Packing and working. I have a lot of random stuff, so I need to pack it up but I should probably also mark things as "important" or "needs to be sorted". Because there are probably quite a few things I don't need. I'm just a pack rat.

May 20 - Packing cleaning and working. Once the floor is totally clean, I must work on getting things out of the closet and packed. This includes loose articles of clothing, and other large items. Once this is done, do a thorough vacuum on the floor. Walls need to be cleaned as best as they can.

May 21 - Going to Lake Charles for friends' graduations. I need to find someone to work for me.

May 22 - Graduation. Must find someone to work for me.

May 23 - Off of work. Today I should start bringing my belonging's to Kelly's place. She has until June 9th to move out. We move in to our new place June 1st.

May 24 - Off of work. Should move things to Kelly's today as well.

May 25 - Work tonight. I have four pieces of large furniture: my bookshelf, my bed, and two side tables. I suppose we can say five or six, if we count the headboard, and mattresses separately from the box spring. Unsure when these can be moved. Probably it would be best to just wait until June 1st, and move these straight from my old place to our new place.

May 26 - Work. Continue whatever cleaning and packing I have.

May 27 - Work. Packing, if not finished, and cleaning.

May 28 - Work. Packing and cleaning.

May 29 - Work. Packing and cleaning.

May 30 - Raising Cane's company picnic. A day for having fun with cotton candy and going crazy on fun jumps.

May 31 - Last day.

June 1 - Official move in day to new place. I need to request off of work for this day. We will start moving on this day and I think it's best to wait to bring my large furniture until then.



I'll add more details to this list as I think of them.

Things I Love
May 11, 2011 || 12:04 PM || comment?

the sandwich i'm eating
The Black Keys
listening to music
you (the you who is reading this)
riding my bike, day or night
swimming with friends
working
Jason Mraz
sweet tea
Black Blood of the Earth
natural history museums
Dinasoars
being unproductive
Harry Potter
writing
math


and of course several other things I can't think of right now. That's usually how it goes. I can't remember what I meant to say, so instead I'll say "this".

You know, it's funny what life does to you! When you do things you didn't expect to do. But you know....now that I have, I feel more aware? I'm not sure. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong. Is it because nothing bad happened? Or is it because it's not really wrong to do in the first place? You know, I am 21 years old. I'm SUPPOSED to be having fun. Right? So I will. I am. I have been.

I need to do what makes me happy. And so far, I have been. So there you go! I'm working, I'm living, I'm having fun. I really am happy with where I'm at right now. At this precise moment. Did I expect to be here, to be in this situation? Of course not. Who does? But you know what. It's okay. Things are cool. Once I move out, things will be more than just cool. Things will be amazing. There won't be any negative reminders. Only pleasant memories of what we shared, right? Sometimes it will be difficult to think of it that way, but I will do what I have to. You know what, though? It is pretty strange that I am already feeling this way, not even quite 3 months yet. Maybe....

Without meaning to sound too cheesy or stupid, maybe I am kind of like a free spirit? I'm not sure. I am ready and willing to love. I enjoy being in a relationship. You know, I didn't really try to save our relationship. Like once we broke up we never got back together, didn't even try or anything. When I realized where the conversation was heading.... well, he couldn't say it. So I let him go. He still broke up with me but he had a hard time saying those words. He knew it would hurt me. It's okay though.

Open up and let them in, just don't be afraid to set them free again...

how could i ever forget?
May 10, 2011 || 5:05 PM || comment?

How could I have ever forgotten how amazingly awesome Jason Mraz is?

If he would just say the word, I would go with him!

Unfortunately he is engaged to someone.....she's lucky! So is he!

I'd do it all for you, I'd do it all for you...
May 9, 2011 || 10:41 PM || comment?

Where the moon was hanging in the sky, it was easy to see through the upstairs window. The sky was empty, and black. The kind of darkness when the sky empties itself of all the rain clouds and there is a void of any color, only light coming from the moon and stars.

A girl sat against the wall where the window was, in a ledge that was wide enough where one could lay down. She took her index finger and lazily traced the frame, running down its length. She stopped short where the duct tape began, a quick fix for a broken pane. She lifted her finger away from the window, and formed a fist. She pulled her arm back and brought it fast to the already broken pane. She window disappeared, and with it, the room around her. She was falling in the sky now, the air rushing around her. She was much farther from the ground than she thought she was. It took a while to notice that despite how fast she was falling, that the ground wasn't getting any closer. She straightened her body out and willed herself forward, rather than downward, and found that her body responded to the thought. Soon she was traveling parallel to the ground. She was elated. She looked ahead, finding herself moving closer and closer to the city. She had enjoyed solitude for quite some time, living outside of the city limits. But now she felt like the chance for exploration was hers to own.


She was walking down a busy street in an area that kept referring to itself as downtown. Several people crowded the sidewalks, and while she felt a little on edge, know that she could fly back home at any time she wished was something that kept for discomfort at bay. As people passed her by, many stared at her, while just as many others didn't acknowledge her presence. She deftly weaved her way through the crowd as she continued her solitude journey. Her ears picked up a subtle sound, vastly different than the hustle and bustle of the streets. She made her way into a bar where a man played the piano with the ease of a professional, but with the manner of an amateur. The effect was playful. She sat at a table by herself, where someone she assumed worked there handed her an unopened bottle. Without a second thought, she twisted the cap off and started drinking. She didn't realize until her first taste just how thirsty she was. She finished the drink in one sitting, and set the empty bottle on the table. The other tables were littered with the same bottle as her own. She continued listening to the piano, and continued drinking as the server kept bringing bottles. Soon her table was littered with scattered bottles as well. When she realized how much she drank, she felt a sudden jolt of guilt, and fear. She attempted to get out of her seat, knocking the table in the process. The bottles clinked against each other. The music stopped abruptly. All life in the bar stopped. She found it hard to breathe. The piano man looked at her, then slowly got up from his stool, and walked away, disappearing into the back of the bar.

"Wait!" she wanted to scream, but her tongue felt heavy and no sound would come out. She grabbed one of the bottles and threw it downward. As it shattered against the ground, all of the bottles in the bar began shattering simultaneously. She shielded her face as the glass shards pelted her, making several small cuts against her skin. The perceived threat heightened the need to escape the situation.



Heightened the need to wake up.



She opened her eyes and was met with darkness. She slowly propped herself up in her bed, and glanced at the digital alarm clock. Satisfied with the time, she stood up from her bed, and walked to the window. She pulled back the heavy black curtain, and sunlight immediately poured in the room, except for in the bottom left corner where it was patched with duct tape.

Labels:


everytime we...
May 7, 2011 || 6:07 AM || comment?

I always get inspired as I ride my bike home. Especially after work, when the sun is getting close to rising. The sky is getting lighter yet I can still see the distant stars and the visible planet for the season. After making my way through an apartment complex, and I get onto my "secret" road. It's not really secret, but what I experience on that road is.


It's quiet. The few sounds I do hear consist of distant cars and rushing wind. Singing insects and chirping birds. The complex isn't really familiar, but my route is, I'm positive I could feel the curves with my mind's eye. As I leave the complex, I turn onto a street that has long since lost its smooth top. The rocks beneath are exposed, making the ride a bit more textured. There is a house I pass on my left. It's hidden by trees and roses bushes. An old sign warns people against stepping foot on the property. The house is rotten, sagging like a wilted flower. I long to take a closer look, to step inside the mysterious glade that hides the house of an architectural style long past. There is much history in the grain of the wood. The no trespassing sign is faded, yet someone is still holding on to this memory. There is a ladder in front of the house. Has the owner been here recently? These thoughts fill my head as I quickly ride past. I am content in the fact that I am the only one experiencing this moment in time. None are awake around me. I selfishly take up the road. Soon the road becomes smooth again, where it was recently rebuilt. It slopes downward at this instance, and I lean forward and grin as I build speed. I stop pedaling for roughly thirty seconds, until the road levels out again. Despite the new road, there is still a vast stretch of land untouched by man on the left side. The only thing new about it is the freshly cut grass. There are metal benches installed nearest the sidewalk. There is a low hanging fog that is uniform across the field. It gives the world a dream like quality. It's pure. There are no disturbances in the fog, and I secretly long to break the spell. But I don't. I merely inhale deeply as the smell of wild flowers fills my nostrils, as it does at the same point in the road each night I ride home. On the right side of the road there is a fallen tree. Decaying as its massive bulk remains immobile, I imagine thousands of bugs are making it a home. I wonder if it is hollow, and if it isn't occupied by insects, if it would make a good home. Unfortunately, the stretch of road ends too quickly, as it usually does, and I sigh as I return to civilization. I make a left onto the sidewalk and numbly continue my ride home.

Labels:


draftdraftdraft
May 5, 2011 || 6:12 AM || comment?

...

it's what my list of posts is starting to be filled with.

I have three previous entries that are all drafts, that probably won't be published but will remain in the log. I feel like if I start writing something too emotionally invested, then posting it after the feeling is gone is pointless to do. But I want the reminder. So they are there for me to look at.

My sleeping pattern is legitimately ruined I think. Or rather, my pattern compared to the "model" sleeping pattern.. haha oh well. Also the three hour nap I took from 6 to 9:30 probably didn't help. But I only had four hours of sleep and woke up yesterday morning around 7:40 so....I think I deserve it.

I should go job hunting today. I hope it is warmer outside. I wonder if I should go to sleep or stay awake. I don't work until 10:30 tonight. I am having a hard time sorting my priorities....

I'll have to walk to Cane's in order to get my bike because I left it chained to a pole for a couple of days. I feel lazy for not riding, so perhaps this is a good thing! I should also clean my room. But I rarely have the motivation for that. I'm going to check the weather real quick.


Seems like it will be really sunny today. I hope it's true. The sun should be rising soon. Hmm.. I don't know.

I'm so lazy.

I suppose I can't be bothered to do many things that I should have the motivation to do. Like I should be packing my things....we move into our new place June 1st. Quite exciting! Anyways I think I am going to pretend to be productive by making lists and not following them.