And I wonder as I lay here, in this sleepless field of dreams..

HELLO!

Somehow you've stumbled upon my blog, scraping the ends of the internet for something interesting.

Instead you found this.
I hope I don't put you to sleep.


Stories of fiction and fact lie dormant in this digital journal. Anything labelled with fiction junction is just that: fiction.

STORIES

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» refraction.
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do you think of me when I think of you

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as the nighttime slowly sings...?

» chih.
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I am dying. Do you hear me? (part eight)
Jan 15, 2010 || 11:33 AM || comment?

God I found the key,
I found the key,
But how come it doesn't work?
The sliding door is closed,
And I am stuck here.
Oh please don't close the door,
My dreams are behind the door.
I heard a voice calling me, calling me.


Morning light broke through the small gap in curtains covering the window, spilling onto Lidiya's face. She mumbled something then rolled over. She tried to fall back asleep but the room was too bright. Her eyes weren't ready to open, but she rubbed away the sleep and slowly sat up. The room around her refused to focus so she squinted in a vain attempt to see. Lidiya pushed away the covers and set one foot on the ground. Her foot met with the cold tile and chills ran down her spine. After a quick search for socks, she no longer feared the floor. From her dresser she pulled out a pair of shorts and a plain white shirt, and quickly got dressed. Aleksandra's bed was empty, but made. The dress she was wearing last night was folded into a neat bundle and placed at the foot of her bed. Lidiya left her room and walked towards the dining room. As she got closer, she faintly heard the voices of some of the other girls. She walked into the dining room and noticed Yuliya sitting in the chair closest to Viktor's on the right. Galine was to her right, and the two were talking. Yuliya seemed extremely cheerful and radiant. Lidiya also noticed Aleksandra, who was sitting in a chair as far as possible from Viktor's on the left. Lidiya smiled and took a seat to Aleksandra's right. When she sat down, Aleksandra hadn't looked up or even acknowledged the fact she was even there. Her attention was on the empty glass she was twirling about with her finger.

"Morning, Aleksandra." Lidiya greeted her with a smile. Aleksandra nodded but didn't say anything.

"Sorry about last night...I didn't know you were back, or I wouldn't have turned on the light."

"It's alright." Aleksandra said quietly. She looked at Lidiya and offered her best smile.

"I have a lot to tell you...but later, okay?" Aleksandra revealed. Lidiya nodded. The other girls slowly came into the dining room. Anya, Vera, and Daria sat next to Galine, while Faina, Nariya, and Katerina sat next to Lidiya. Natalia arrived without much fanfare, although she was looking much better than she had the previous morning. The two chefs brought out three trays, each one carrying an assortment of freshly prepared fruit. When Viktor arrived, Yuliya really lit up. Lidiya watched with great interest as Yuliya interacted with Viktor. The two seemed equally interested with each other. Lidiya looked back at Aleksandra, who didn't once look at Viktor. She simply ate her breakfast in silence. Lidiya looked at her own plate, which was empty. Her stomach grumbled in response, so she took from fruit and ate it while wondering what exactly happened last night. After eating, she glanced back at Viktor, who was leaving the room, Yuliya in tow. When the two were gone, Natalia complained aloud to no one in particular. Vera listened because no one else would.

"I'm going to take a shower," Aleksandra said. She left her seat and walked away without waiting for Lidiya to respond.

"Hey!" Lidiya quickly left her seat and caught up with Aleksandra. Following Aleksandra into the showers, Lidiya watched as Aleksandra undressed and placed her clothes on the rack where the towels were. Aleksandra turned on the faucet and simply stood under the water, her head tilted towards the ground. She started crying, though her tears were indistinguishable from the drops of water.

"Um...Aleksandra?" Lidiya was standing next to the rack where the towels and Aleksandra's clothes were.

"It was horrible, Lidiya." Aleksandra cried.

"What was? What happened?" Lidiya asked. She felt her stomach drop as she heard the despair in Aleksandra's voice.

"It started off nice...he bought me a really nice dress then took me out to eat..."



"I was starting to get a little impatient." Viktor said. Aleksandra smiled as he said this, then looked down at her plate. The food looked and smelled amazing.

"It tastes better than it looks." Viktor said in between chewing and swallowing. She nodded then took a bite. She wasn't sure whether to eat it all now because it was so delicious, or to eat it slowly to savor it. The waiter returned with a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. Aleksandra looked up at Viktor, who was smiling.

"The dinner wouldn't be complete without a nice drink," he stated. She stared at her glass then took a drink. It churned in her stomach but she quickly got over the feeling for Viktor's sake. She didn't want to accidentally insult him by admitting she didn't like the wine, so she drank as much as he did. When dinner was over, she didn't notice that he already paid for the check. She also didn't realize that she almost fell down the stairs, or that Viktor was carrying her for a short while until she moved her leg and saw her foot floating. She looked around and thought that she herself must be floating.

"Ah, Viktor!" Aleksandra exclaimed suddenly, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't worry, Aleksandra. I won't drop you." Viktor responded with a wink.

"Drop me?" she thought. She felt underneath herself and felt Viktor's arms.

"Oh..." she said quietly.

They arrived at his car, where he carefully took his keys from his pocket and unlocked the doors. He leaned forward and managed to open the passenger door, then set her down in the seat. Viktor shut the door then went around and sat in the driver's side. As they drove back home, Aleksandra stared out of the window, the blur of buildings and natural scenery captured her attention. Before she knew it, they were home again and Viktor brought her to his room. She stumbled over to his bed and watched with great curiosity as Viktor untied his shoes. He looked up for a moment and smiled at her. Aleksandra acted as if she were caught peeking at something she wasn't supposed to, and looked away quickly. He walked over to the bed, and she leaned back to look up at him. Aleksandra lost her balance, and fell on her back on the bed. He slowly climbed on top of her and gazed at her for a few minutes.

"You look very beautiful in that dress, Aleksandra." Viktor said softly. She laughed nervously as she stared at his mouth as he carefully formed his words and listened to them escape from his lips. Aleksandra sat up as best as she could from beneath him, wanting to feel his lips on hers again. He bent down so their lips could meet, and they kissed. She wondered how it was possible for someone's lips to be so soft. When she opened her eyes, Viktor's were staring back at hers. She smiled and Viktor was wearing his devious grin.

"I imagine you're just as beautiful when you're not wearing that dress." Viktor said as he slid both hands under her dress. She squirmed as his hands traveled along her sides. Aleksandra wasn't used to anyone touching her on her sides so his trailing fingers tickled her greatly. He pulled her close so that now she was sitting up, then he took his hands from under her dress. He reached behind her and started unzipping her dress. When she felt the top slipping off, she felt extremely nervous and very aware of what might be coming (or coming off) next. Her chest was already bare because she didn't need a bra for the dress she wore. Her exposed skin prickled with goosebumps. As Viktor ran his warm hands over her chest and back, Aleksandra felt extremely uneasy and tense.

"I was wrong..." Viktor started. He pulled the dress off completely and set it aside. He stared at her panties for a moment before looking back at her. "You're even more beautiful without the dress. But you seem nervous. Please relax." He gently pushed her, and she laid back on the bed, and fixed her gaze on the ceiling. She felt his fingers running along the top of her panties, so she gripped the covers on his bed. He pulled them off as well, so she tried to keep her legs as close together as possible.

"Oh, please relax Aleksandra. I know you will enjoy this." Viktor said, running both his hands up her thighs, and pulling her legs apart. She felt his lips on her thigh next, getting ever closer to exactly between her legs. She felt his breath first, then something warm. She shut her eyes tightly, afraid of what she might see if she opened them. While in her mind she protested the sensations she felt, she couldn't help but shudder and moan in response to his actions.

After a short while, he stopped, then sat up for a moment. Aleksandra heard him unbuckling his belt and unzip his pants. She swallowed hard and tensed up again. Once completely undressed, Viktor climbed on top of her again. "My dear Aleksandra..." he whispered into her ear. She turned her head away and wished she could disappear. The next thing she felt was expected and unexpected all at once and she let out a cry.

"You need to relax..." he reminded her, then tried again. Her body was too tense and tears were coming out the corners of her eyes.

"I...I'm not ready Viktor." Aleksandra sobbed.

"Just relax." Viktor said. Aleksandra continued to cry.

"Please...no..."

Viktor sighed and looked at her. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs. She flinched when he touched her but she didn't say anything. In silence he put his clothes back on, then handed her the dress. She pulled it over herself and zipped it up. She grabbed her panties and stepped into them, then quickly pulled them up. Together they left his room, and walked to hers. She stopped at her door and he pulled her close. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, but she didn't hug him. She walked into her room then shut the door. The sound of laughter echoed down the hall, so Viktor walked in that direction while Aleksandra was alone in her room, crying.



"Oh Aleksandra..." Lidiya said. She took a towel from the rack, then walked to the shower and turned off the faucet. She wrapped it around Aleksandra's body and held her tightly as Aleksandra cried on her shoulder.

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