"Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen, but not to me?
Oh things are gonna happen naturally.
Well I'm taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side,
And I'm balancing the whole damn thing."

One day I'm going to have a home/apartment of my own and I'll listen to the music really loud and then just dance around. The floor will be carpet, because dancing on carpet feels better on the feet.

"And it's okay if you had to go away.
Just remember the telephones, well the work both ways.
But if I never hear it ring...
If nothing else I think the bells inside have finally found you someone else,
And that's okay...'cos I remember everything you sang."

Really people. I love it. Jason + his music = lyrical + vocal heaven. or so i think.

I'm drawing in my free time now, sketches of real people, but not in-real-life people, just photos. I'm not sure why that's any ounce of significant, but yeah.

My dad seems to be getting better, while financial matters like to get worse. (:

Apparently, if you have "too much" in the bank, you can't get social security. (and honestly, "too much" is closer to, uhm, not even half a year's salary. honestly.)

And because my dad isn't -all- fully capable, of course he's totally able to make reasonable choices. Too bad he doesn't even remember what he told them. And, the hospital doesn't seem to be too far to him.

"It's a bunch of hateful old people in this hospital, Pearl."

comment? / top

And it does! Good, I wonder why it doesn't work on IE...maybe 'cos it sucks? I'll go with that. I'm not really technical, just from what I hear, Firefox is better....in doing what? I really don't know. Well now I need to get my cbox back...and do a little typing here and there.

One person I like a lot is Jason Mraz. I like his voice, his lyrics, and how versatile he is. I like people who can sing several different styles. I want so badly to see him live...it would be so great!

There's a video somewheres that I need to find so you can see....


"Who needs shelter?"




comment? / top

Well, hopefully this will work for all the firefox users out there, I'm gonna try it out myself and see. If it does, then yay! finally! (:

comment? / top

Today was the Mu Alpha Theta pool party/installing of the officers. (: I was officially installed as president today, then I installed the rest of the members. I felt so nervous; I still feel nervous. I can't imagine being president of a club, I'm not sure of the first thing I do. :P Sure I run the meetings and stuff...I get so nervous when I talk in front of people haha.

So, we got two REALLY nice graphing calculators from some lady with National Mu Alpha Theta Big-wigs, and Mrs. Johnson had to figure what to do with them. The first was given as a drawing, when we sold pies for Pi Day. Harrison won that one. So today, she had to give the other one to the person she felt most deserved it. She called Laura and Trang (who wasn't there) up, to say all the wonderful things they'd done. I was pretty sure it was gonna go to one of them until Mrs. Johnson said, "Buuutt....we can't give it to them, because they're only freshmen." YES. Another chance. "So, I decided....to give it to Rachel."

JKGHFDJKGHDFJKGHSGDESGIE. WOW. This calculator is a TI-89 Silver Edition, sold for about 150$ in stores. Now I have my own calculator! My own, REALLY nice graphing calculator that graphs in 3-D and is so so so awesome.

So all tonight and tomorrow in my free time I'm going to play with the calculator, figuring out all the cool things about it, and look online to see what things its got and stuff. AH.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

comment? / top

I went to the hospital earlier today, with mom, Alex, Caleb, and Adam. I was "okay" on the elevator, in the hall waiting to see if we went to the right floor. But as soon as we walked up to his room, and I saw him through the window, I couldn't hold it any longer.

Sunday morning my dad had a stroke. It was very hard, because I had been the first person to see him yesterday morning. So as I saw his face, everything from yesterday morning came rushing back. I think that's why it hit me as hard as it did. I knew he wasn't okay, and he'll never be completely okay. And right now, it seems so hard to comprehend. Just the day before, everything was fine. And then I wake up, and find my father, on the ground, unable to speak properly, unable to walk properly.

Mom tells us it was a massive stroke, after all. I knew it was bad because the doctor said so yesterday, but massive feels so much heavier. He doesn't have much control of his left side at all. He can talk, but his speech is slurred. I am glad he can remember. I don't know if strokes can cause you to lose memories, but I'm glad he remembers.

"Hi, Pearl," he said to me when he finally noticed me at the foot of his bed. My middle name is La Pearl, so he has many nicknames for me, like Pearlie girl.

He can eat food the consistency of a milk shake. Which is good for him, because his favorite kind of drink is a chocolate milk shake, which he had one today. Today, got helped him sit in a chair for an hour or so, and just that wore him out. They will progress with the physical therapy, to help him gain control of his left side again. He won't be the same, I know this, but I deeply wish he'll be able to walk properly, to speak properly. He won't be able to work anymore.

Doesn't help that finals start this week.

comment? / top

"I think I forgot how to walk," he said to me, as his eyes wandered, lost in a familiar place.

"Have I woken up to a nightmare?" I thought.

He stumbled, his feet cold and unfeeling. Tumbling to the ground, he grasped for anything solid that could save him.

As he cried, I cried. I'd never seen a grown man cry, my father no less. "What happened to him?" I wondered, stupidly.

In the other room my brother was on the phone; a voice of salvation? A voice of authority? Of healing abilities?

"My pride..." he said amongst the tears that flowed down his cheeks.

"Rachel.." he said.

He still knew me. Still, there was hope. He wasn't completely lost.

The stroke didn't take all of him.

comment? / top

Sorry guys, been changing my templates a lot, I know. The last one was pretty, but hard to read once the text got into the beige half. So, I'll be sticking to this one for a while, simple, but kinda interesting, don't you think? It's also got music, so I'm gonna see what other kinds there are for me to play. (:

School is coming so close to an end. It's happy and sad, all at once. It means certain things are coming to ends, and then it opens doors to the new. I'm not sure what I'll do but, I guess we'll just see.

comment? / top

"Want to see what I got mom?" I smiled, anxious to show someone the gift.

"I don't care." He got up, and walked away.

comment? / top

And with a new template, comes a new post. I was watching Sam's junior video, and noticed all the people who wanted to be in the film. Like Drew, "It's my favorite day of the year!" I'd like to make a mark like Sam has. What have I done that's not only memorable, but honorable? Nothing, so far.

I'd like to change that, but I don't know how. One thing I plan to add to my list of Summer things is to figure out how I can make an Impact.

comment? / top

....I wish I knew more fellow bloggers. xD Here's a game, that I can't really tag someone with, so it's the end of my trail...


1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Easy, right? I never really spend time thinking about these things...hm...Well, let's begin....

uno: Crossword puzzles give me a sense of accomplishment, especially when I don't feel like accomplishing anything important.

ni: I like reading magazines. Science magazines. (well, really just one, and that would be Discover.)

trois: I like when I get bruises because they make nice colors. (I'm not self-destructive, I promise)

zveir: My favorite movies would have to be the Jurassic Park movies. And then I dream about being chased by talking raptors.

five: Speaking of dreams, I can usually remember my dreams in great detail. One dream I find strange would be I once dreamed about being pregnant, because I was raped, yet I was happy.

seis: Good morning America! Isn't this a beautiful morning? The sun shines so brightly! I'm not morning person, but I'm not grumpy either. So there.

shichi: I'm a professional cry-er. I'm indecisive. I like all the girly clothes that I see other people wearing.

huit: Ignorance is bliss. I wish I could turn back time. I know French fluently. I don't use my phone much. I stay up way too late.

i guess i couldnt pick anything too solid....

comment? / top